1/12/17 As I am preparing workshops, I’ve been going back through notes and journal entries, older blog posts and saved websites. I came across this post from a couple of years ago, and I thought I’d bring it back to the front. I hope you are encouraged.
I have to be honest, New Year’s resolutions flummox me. There have been years that I’ve joined the 99% of the world’s population in declaring that I will make kick-butt changes with my diet and exercise routines, and, like 75% of that 99%, I’ve completely given up by Valentine’s Day (the call of the chocolate is just too strong to ignore!), but for the most part, I’ve never really bought into the whole “a new year, a new me!” mind set. It’s certainly not because there aren’t aspects of my life and myself that I would love to change; it’s because as I look back on my life, the most profound and permanent changes have never been brought about my sheer effort or willpower.
Have you ever had to restart your smart phone, iPad, or computer? Sometimes there are too many apps running, too many windows open, too much power or memory being used – the gadget freezes up and stops responding. At this point, the only thing you can do is just hit the restart button.
This is exactly what I have to do with my life.
Restart. New mercy. New grace. New joy. New strength. New peace.
I tend to be a perfectionist. There, I said it.
Perfectionism can take on different forms – in fact, I believe it can be as varied and unique as the persons who struggle with it.
My perfectionism tends to rear its ugly head in a rather subtle form. In fact, it can be mistaken for positive qualities, such as efficiency and diligence. Only those closest to me would know that the motives behind it just might not be all that pure.
I’m afraid. Is it really worth the possible cost? This world is a scary place – I mean, Christians are being beheaded by Isis! Wouldn’t it be easier and safer to just live here and not really follow Jesus?
These are the words of a child, whom I dearly love. These are real concerns – not something to be brushed aside flippantly. These are scary times.
I’m in my forties – with years of God building trust in my heart and soul – and I daily have to decide to trust Him with my whole life, my whole heart. My prayer is that God show up big time, in an abundant way, as only He can and show my children that He really is worth every sacrifice.
A few days ago, I wrote about how I was dealing with exhaustion and extreme mental, physical, and emotional fatigue. I said that I didn’t have the answers…nothing except Jesus is enough.
I want to revisit that statement, because the more I focused on it – Jesus is enough – the more I realized that this simple statement is the answer – the only answer I will ever need. There doesn’t ever need to be anything more. The writer part of me wants it to be more…maybe something a little more difficult to explain – perhaps something that needs more flowery words and impressive eloquence. But the truth of it is, Jesus is enough.
Like Peter, I was sinking because I took my eyes off of the fact that Jesus is enough. Little by little, I allowed the business of my life, the demands of my daily stuff to distract me at a soul level, from His hand reaching out to me, His words calling, “Come to Me! Keep your eyes on Me!” I looked down, and I realized that I’m standing on the water, and just like Peter, my faith turned to doubt – how in the world can I do this? I was experiencing extreme fatigue because of the struggle to stay afloat. Panic is exhausting!
I lost track of the fact that I’m not here because I’m the first human being to discover the supernatural ability of defying gravity, but because He has called me here. Without Him, I can do nothing. With Him, I can do anything.